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3 Reasons to Give Up the Illusion of Control
It’s an American idea: the open road, the prairie, the cabin in the woods, the deserted island. There is an idea that we can and should exist where we are fully in control. The Man of the House The...
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Finding Space for Yourself in Your Relationship
Self-time. Me-time. Whatever you want to call it, finding space and taking time for yourself is ok even (especially) when you’re in a relationship. Sure, there’s lots of time spent together when we...
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You Can’t Solve a Relationship Problem in a Non-Relational Way
People don’t just come to individual therapy to work on individual issues. Many start because they have relationship problems and they want to make some personal changes to support that relationship....
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5 Tips for Parenting After a Loss
Grief can be all-consuming. When you need to also be a dad to your children. Parenting after a loss can feel impossible. Plus, we know that men traditionally are taught to hold in their emotions, we...
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When You Love Someone With a Mental Health Issue
Discovering that you have a partner with a mental health issue can be scary, frustrating, and overwhelming. That’s probably how they feel as well. While they are ultimately in charge of their own...
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Where Is Your Competitive Side Hiding?
Competition is motivating to a lot of people, but many feel it’s just unhelpful and destructive. But hiding your competitive side may be hurting you more than you realize. Competition is another one of...
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You Can’t Think Your Way Into Happiness
Approaching your therapy in the same way you tackle a new project at work or develop a certain concrete skill may be just what’s getting in the way of your happiness. The emotional logic you need may...
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Can You Distinguish Between a ‘Good’ Man & a ‘Real’ Man?
There’s an ongoing conversation about what a Man is, what a Man should be, and whether we’re coming up with a whole new definition or just making some tweaks to the old one. Real Man/Good Man–is...
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‘It’s Not COVID, It’s ______’: The Pandemic Has Affected You (Whether You...
I’ve noticed a pattern these last few weeks: Clients telling me about their worries, relationship issues, anger management concerns, depressive symptoms and when I mention, “Yes, and there’s...
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Help My Partner
The COVID-19 crisis only increases stress, anxiety, and depression. Of course, you knew that, but it’s important for us not to beat ourselves up for feeling overwhelmed when we’re struggling to...
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How to Overcome Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is the form of anxiety that keeps you from connecting with others. It keeps you isolated and without many friends and stops you from having fun at events that “everyone else” seems to...
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To Manage Male Infertility, You’re Going to Need to Get Vulnerable (Sorry!)
We’ve been sold a bill of goods. We want relationships. We want to connect. We want to support our partners. But we’ve been taught that we can do this all without being vulnerable. It’s hard to find...
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Letting Go of Other People’s Expectations
VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: Hi there, I’m Justin Lioi from Park Slope Therapist and I want to talk today about other people’s expectations that seem to become part of who we are and how we can change that....
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Feeling Trapped by Fatherhood
There are basically two acceptable feelings regarding children: 1. “I am ecstatically happy! This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me! What a blessing!” and 2. “It’s so hard, so hard. I...
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How NOT to React When Your Inner Patriarch is Exposed
To get through grad school, everyone had to take a Social Work with Groups class which is basically a class on group therapy. Sometimes these classes are taught as if all the students were in group...
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‘Touched Out’ After Having a Baby
I was interviewed by the website Fatherly regarding how dads are managing with partners who tell them they are “touched out” and are not ready for physical intimacy. It’s a challenging dynamic for both...
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‘Suffering Is Optional’: Why Are Men Resistant to Therapy?
The question “Why are men resistant to therapy?” often comes from women and it’s usually in the context of a man they love who needs some help. Maybe it’s help they’ve been trying to offer. Or maybe...
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Progressive Relaxation: Basic But Worth It
I often ask clients throughout our work together to check in with their body and notice what they are physically feeling. This is easy for some people (and a welcome move away from any question about...
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How a Shame Identity Is Harmful
Our self-esteem can be strongly connected to how well we can separate what we do from who we are. Getting to be comfortable with distinguishing between feeling guilty and feeling shame is key to this....
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Compassion Is the Answer
I recently listened to one of the most freeing podcasts I’ve ever heard. It’s called ‘Man Enough’ and it’s hosted by Justin Baldoni, Liz Plank, & Jamey Heath. This particular episode featured an...
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